New Year Blues

Every January 1st the fallen nettles of the christmas tree littering the floor of my living room make me a little depressed about the coming year. The holidays rouse such a surge of emotion and excessive behavior that by New Years Day, I'm worn out and dreading the dreary January days that stretch out like a wasteland in front of me. The excitement of the first snow and the cold weather that reddened my cheeks and made my eyes sparkle has developed into bitterness and chapped skin. Not long after, the doubt and pessimism seep in: How will this year be any different from the last?...Will I be stuck in career limbo yet again?...Will I manage to keep a single new years resolution?! (Survey says--probably not). Although work and routine have usually pushed these feelings of ennui and malaise out of my mind by MLK Day, that doesn't make them any less warranted or worrisome. I want every year to present new opportunities that bring me to new heights. I want to be challenged and I want to possess the fearlessness to rise to it. Its too simple to get trapped in the tedium of every day and lose sight of the goals and ambition that drive life. I hope I can get outside myself more this year, do some of the things that I envy about others, take risks, say yes, all that stereotypical bullshit that's so easy to talk about but so hard to do.

It's easy to be arrested by complacency; its much harder to break free. I don't want these New Year Blues comin' down on me anymore.